Friday, June 13, 2008
June 13 4:30am
Woke up from the couch laying with Brookey and hurried into dads room, not knowing what woke me up to check on him, a little nervous about what I am going to find when I get there, only to see his eyes wide open, and looking up in a stare that I couldn't get is attention. I wiped his face off, sponged water in his mouth and asked if he hurt or was in any pain and he shook his head no, so we prayed together for this new day that is ahead of us, for God to give me the wisdom to give dad whatever he needs since he doesn't communicate anymore, and for dad to know what a wonderful father he is and has been to Scott, Ty and I and that we are going to be just fine when he leaves us here on earth to be with Jesus. I'm going to go back and lay down for awhile and I will write again later today. I am just so thankful for this day I am about to have with the granddaughters and dad.
June 12, 2008 31 Years Ago Today
Anyone that knows our family very well knows a very special wakeup call that mom would give us on our birthday, and it began with our age and how that day was the best day in her life. Well, I picked up on moms tradition and do the same with my children and today was Lisa's day. It was an eventful day with dad waking up yelling for "Ike" and the dogs thinking by him yelling so loud that someone was at the door! I was able to calm dad down pretty quickly, got the dogs outside and began my morning as normal, changing and bathing dad, he always liked to be shaved and what smooth soft skin he has, only this morning his skin was already moist- like and clammy. His grip was so strong that if I got him rolled to one side he woulnd't let go of the bed rail to roll him to the other, I thought, wow, he sure still is strong. He is so heavy to move for as little as he is! Then I remembered Gracie needed to be at the groomer so off I go two houses up the road to drop her off, hurry back as I don't leave dad ever alone, but this morning I did just to do that. Got back and all was normal, went outside to begin watering my plants and remembered I didn't make my wake up call!!! When I got Lisa at work, wished her a happy birthday and that 31 years ago today was the best day of my life, adding to that, that her birth at Goshen General Hospital was one of the largest arrivals in history, with Grandparents, Uncles, Cousins and Friends all waiting for her arrival. Grandma Welsh also pulled every string to have Wooden Wagon Florist have a dozen pink carnations with more babies breath that fit in the arrangement at my bedside by the time I got back to my room in the hospital. She said she was wondering if I was going to call her, oh, I apologized and she so understood how this year this morning was different for me.
All day dad was unresponsive so I just put him in positions that I thought would be comfortable, dripping drops of water from a sponge on his mouth, every now and then a teaspoon of water that he would choke on but swollow, but I felt better he at least had a swollow, more for me than him. Once Todd was checking in on him and he thought how uncomfortable dad was positioned but his face looked peaceful, I had put him on his side, propped with pillows and rolled blankets everywhere, the way I lay on my side, but Todd, not liking to lay on his side thought it looked horribly uncomfortable! We laughed and I left him like that for awhile, then in drops Scotty to see Grandpa, and he too got dad all undone and back on his back where he thought dad should be, so my boys don't like the curled up on the side position.
We were blessed with our four youngest granddaughters for dinner and the night, Savonnah Faye, Brooke-Lynn, Sierra and Summer, so Todd made 'Beer-butt" chicken, potato's and peas for supper for all of us, along with AJ, one of our employee's who was there helping me keep up the yardwork when he's not at the Down Under. We had such a great time out on the deck, talking and sharing with the girls about our past, different kinds of birds, trees and things other than health issues, what a nice break I thought, still repositoning dad every half hour or so and keeping his face wiped and drips of water to his mouth.
It was getting close to ten o'clock and we decided we needed dairy queen's for Lisa's birthday, so we called and sang to her again on the way to the dairy queen and got home and tasted each others blizzards, and ice cream and called it a day. As I was in praying my goodnight prayer with dad, Brooke-Lynn joined me and we had a very emotional few minutes, as she has been such a huge part of Grandpa Duke's life, because she is with me so much, she was able to spend alot of time with him in her 10 years of life. When Brookey was three months old I went to Crystal River to visit dad and mom and Brookey was right there with me to meet her Grandma Faye and Grandpa Duke for a week, then again she went there at about the age of 5, and thousands of visits to Goshen when I'd go see mom and dad, so she has heard every one of the stories out of dads book that the rest of us have been blessed to listen to, as well as all his great words of wisdom, especially, "Think Good Thoughts". So this will be a painful loss for my dear Brookey when dad does go to Heaven, I am just to thankful she is with me tonight to share the goodnight prayer. We held each other tight in tears and said goodnight.
All day dad was unresponsive so I just put him in positions that I thought would be comfortable, dripping drops of water from a sponge on his mouth, every now and then a teaspoon of water that he would choke on but swollow, but I felt better he at least had a swollow, more for me than him. Once Todd was checking in on him and he thought how uncomfortable dad was positioned but his face looked peaceful, I had put him on his side, propped with pillows and rolled blankets everywhere, the way I lay on my side, but Todd, not liking to lay on his side thought it looked horribly uncomfortable! We laughed and I left him like that for awhile, then in drops Scotty to see Grandpa, and he too got dad all undone and back on his back where he thought dad should be, so my boys don't like the curled up on the side position.
We were blessed with our four youngest granddaughters for dinner and the night, Savonnah Faye, Brooke-Lynn, Sierra and Summer, so Todd made 'Beer-butt" chicken, potato's and peas for supper for all of us, along with AJ, one of our employee's who was there helping me keep up the yardwork when he's not at the Down Under. We had such a great time out on the deck, talking and sharing with the girls about our past, different kinds of birds, trees and things other than health issues, what a nice break I thought, still repositoning dad every half hour or so and keeping his face wiped and drips of water to his mouth.
It was getting close to ten o'clock and we decided we needed dairy queen's for Lisa's birthday, so we called and sang to her again on the way to the dairy queen and got home and tasted each others blizzards, and ice cream and called it a day. As I was in praying my goodnight prayer with dad, Brooke-Lynn joined me and we had a very emotional few minutes, as she has been such a huge part of Grandpa Duke's life, because she is with me so much, she was able to spend alot of time with him in her 10 years of life. When Brookey was three months old I went to Crystal River to visit dad and mom and Brookey was right there with me to meet her Grandma Faye and Grandpa Duke for a week, then again she went there at about the age of 5, and thousands of visits to Goshen when I'd go see mom and dad, so she has heard every one of the stories out of dads book that the rest of us have been blessed to listen to, as well as all his great words of wisdom, especially, "Think Good Thoughts". So this will be a painful loss for my dear Brookey when dad does go to Heaven, I am just to thankful she is with me tonight to share the goodnight prayer. We held each other tight in tears and said goodnight.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
June 7, 2009
Here it is Saturday Night already, again, where does the time go??? We received this report today from Dad's hospice nurse and I thought I would insert in my journal.
Hi I went down to see duke today for the first time since we had spoken at the nursing home. All the rest of the hospice staff had been keeping me informed of how well he had been doing but he has started to decline again in the past three days, today he was up in the living room watching tv when I arrived but he was kind of listless and confused (not sure if he remembered me) did not answer questions about date, year, or where he was at and he believed it was February. He denied and pain or discomfort. His heart rate was 56 which is slow for him and his blood pressure was also low. He drank some 7up and asked to go to bed, Nancy and I transferred him to the wheelchair and took him back to his bed and got him changed. Nancy is doing a fine job caring for Duke but it has to be emotionally draining to witness this decline, Its hard enough for staff that are paid to care for people but it is really hard physically and emotionally for family members who are doing it 24-7. God bless and thank you for allowing us to assist in caring for Duke Gary
Todd and I went out on the lake this afternoon and to dinner tonight with Christopher, Scotty, Mindi and Matt and had wonderful caregivers, but we were a bit anxious to get back as dad just hasn't been good. As I was changing dad getting him ready for bed he still knows who I am, even called me Nancy insted of Ikie, which is who I have been for the last several weeks. He isn't drinking or eatting near as much, maybe a quarter cup of applesauce a day, and the only fluids are what we put in a straw and drop in his mouth or sponge into his mouth. He just doesn't desire anything in his mouth, and we don't push it. I am struggling a bit on going tomorrow to Merrillville to meet Lisa for our mother/daughter get a way night but everyone I talk with is telling me to go, so am still planning on going as of tonight. I know dad would want me to go so that is the real truth of me going. Scotty and Todd will care for dad perfectly I am sure, and I will only be 1 1/2 hour away if they do need me, so all is well with that decision.
I just want to say that the blessings I have received since dad has been here is beyond words, and I thank God for the opportunity to care for him, and for support from my husband, brothers, children and friends to pray us through each day. Until next time, blessings to all who read this.
Hi I went down to see duke today for the first time since we had spoken at the nursing home. All the rest of the hospice staff had been keeping me informed of how well he had been doing but he has started to decline again in the past three days, today he was up in the living room watching tv when I arrived but he was kind of listless and confused (not sure if he remembered me) did not answer questions about date, year, or where he was at and he believed it was February. He denied and pain or discomfort. His heart rate was 56 which is slow for him and his blood pressure was also low. He drank some 7up and asked to go to bed, Nancy and I transferred him to the wheelchair and took him back to his bed and got him changed. Nancy is doing a fine job caring for Duke but it has to be emotionally draining to witness this decline, Its hard enough for staff that are paid to care for people but it is really hard physically and emotionally for family members who are doing it 24-7. God bless and thank you for allowing us to assist in caring for Duke Gary
Todd and I went out on the lake this afternoon and to dinner tonight with Christopher, Scotty, Mindi and Matt and had wonderful caregivers, but we were a bit anxious to get back as dad just hasn't been good. As I was changing dad getting him ready for bed he still knows who I am, even called me Nancy insted of Ikie, which is who I have been for the last several weeks. He isn't drinking or eatting near as much, maybe a quarter cup of applesauce a day, and the only fluids are what we put in a straw and drop in his mouth or sponge into his mouth. He just doesn't desire anything in his mouth, and we don't push it. I am struggling a bit on going tomorrow to Merrillville to meet Lisa for our mother/daughter get a way night but everyone I talk with is telling me to go, so am still planning on going as of tonight. I know dad would want me to go so that is the real truth of me going. Scotty and Todd will care for dad perfectly I am sure, and I will only be 1 1/2 hour away if they do need me, so all is well with that decision.
I just want to say that the blessings I have received since dad has been here is beyond words, and I thank God for the opportunity to care for him, and for support from my husband, brothers, children and friends to pray us through each day. Until next time, blessings to all who read this.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
June 4, 2008
We have had an eventful week with wheelchairs! I feel like I know the AdvaCare Delivery mans entire life as many times as he's been here in the last five days. It started when I was wheeling dad up the ramp from the deck to the house and the portable wheelchair collapsed in midramp! Holding dad in it and keeping the chair from entirely falling to pieces, we made it inside, along with Todd's help after screaming for him for several minutes over a chainsaw mission he was on and couldn't hear my desperate plea for help. So that afternoon Brandon (my new wheelchair delivery friend) brought me a replacement, wrong size, won't fit through the bedroom door, but it worked until the next day when Brandon came again, with a bright new red steel framed chair, only to have it be so new and stiff that after several days dad got two sores from it, so hospice called and had another chair sent, one that may be used she suggested. So Brandon shows up again, with a used black beauty that he was sure was going to work this time, along with another half hour of conversation of his last six jobs in six years, from bug exterminitor to over the road trucker. We used that chair one hour, dad complaining of the same area that creates sores on his rearie dearie. I dreaded calling hospice and telling them, but my obligation is to do so is under signiture when dad moved in to report any pain he is experiencing. So again Brandon shows yesterday with a new full size small version of his comfortable 18" wheelchair, in a 16" model. Yippy, it works so far. I will miss Brandon!
This Sunday is a day I am so looking forward to, it begins with getting to go to church to be with my friends that I miss so much, finding a caregiver for just a couple of hours has been difficult for us, so we've had to listen to the message over the website www.communitychurchofwaterford.com and it just isn't the same as being there, watching Mike's love and passion of the scriptures, the priceless music team praising God, the sharing with friends and seekers. I just miss church so much, so now, I understand the gift of freeedom when you don't have it to go to worship, and makes me pray even stronger for those that can go to church and choose not to. Anyway, Lisa and I were planning our Mother Daughter Mothers Day gift over night in Merrillvile for this Sunday to just talk and eat and shop and maybe spa only to find out my caregiver for 24 hours was not able, then Scotty said my gift to you and Lisa is he will come and stay with dad so I can still go! I am so blessed. So Scotty and Todd are making it possible for Lisa and I to spend a day together! Please keep them in your prayers, and dad and this whole plan to work out.
That is about it for the last couple of days, I will try and keep this site updated every couple days. We feel your prayers and thank you always.
This Sunday is a day I am so looking forward to, it begins with getting to go to church to be with my friends that I miss so much, finding a caregiver for just a couple of hours has been difficult for us, so we've had to listen to the message over the website www.communitychurchofwaterford.com and it just isn't the same as being there, watching Mike's love and passion of the scriptures, the priceless music team praising God, the sharing with friends and seekers. I just miss church so much, so now, I understand the gift of freeedom when you don't have it to go to worship, and makes me pray even stronger for those that can go to church and choose not to. Anyway, Lisa and I were planning our Mother Daughter Mothers Day gift over night in Merrillvile for this Sunday to just talk and eat and shop and maybe spa only to find out my caregiver for 24 hours was not able, then Scotty said my gift to you and Lisa is he will come and stay with dad so I can still go! I am so blessed. So Scotty and Todd are making it possible for Lisa and I to spend a day together! Please keep them in your prayers, and dad and this whole plan to work out.
That is about it for the last couple of days, I will try and keep this site updated every couple days. We feel your prayers and thank you always.
Monday, June 2, 2008
June 2, 2008
Where does the time go??? Again, I thought by having dad here I would have so much more free time, and it just seems I am either so unorganized or it just is that time consuming. Our Social Worker keeps telling me that I need to remember that at the Maples there were 15 on staff caring for their residents, from nurses, to nurses aids, to housekeeping, to kitchen, and so on and that there is only one Nancy. That does help me not feel so scattered, yet, I just know I can do better. I also am trying to explain to dad that every few minutes when I am out of the room or out of his sight, I am still "here". Dad continues to do well, almost improving according to Todd! Todd helps when he can, yet he has taken on all the ownership duties of the Down Under that we used to share. Our staff have also been so willing to go the extra mile and I so appreciate their caring and willingness to do all they do. I went to the Down Under Saturday Night for a couple hours of "fun", we had Total Recall, the band, which I love, and I got a chance to talk with the girls, they said they and the customers miss me terrible, didn't realize all I did (patting myself on the back here) but didn't want me to do anything that evening but have fun, and we did, Steph, Shy, Amanda made sure I didn't miss a dance! Lisa and I are planning our Mother/Daughter Mothers Day Get A Way Night for next week, (her birthday too) that I am so ready for. We are working out the details for dad now. With caregivers being very busy this past weekend, canceling and illness, I wasn't able to go to graduation open houses, church, and a few disappointments, but that goes with the deal. This is a new week and I am counting my blessings. My prayers are many, and if you'd like to share the ones on my heart, I have a friend named Dick that is struggling with an unknown illness, please pray for the doctors to be able to help him, for him to be healed and get better. Also, for my children, brothers and husband, they are all so in my prayers. I just thank Jesus for all He is, and pray I never forget to give him the thanks and the glory for each minute of my life. Without Him, I would never be able to do what i do.
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